The Super Bowl Thru the Eyes of A Bill's Fan

By Matt Tynon January 31st 10:53 am ET

So this is it. The end of a cinematic battle for supremacy. By midnight Sunday, the credits will have rolled and this years NFL season will come to a dramatic close. Cut. Print. FUCK! Its the Giants and Patriots. What ghoulish hell have the football gods bestowed upon us? It wasn't bad enough to watch the final game of the season I truthfully cared about end dreadfully. Now I have to sit back and listen to everybody tell me "Hey remember Scott Norwood," or "Boy Tom Brady really is a special kind of quarterback."

To hell with this. You know what this is. This is The Empire vs well The Empire. They both generate loathing and almost unadulterated hatred. They're two relative in comparison to the rest of the globe microscopic shit streaks on the rim of a majestic toilet.

2007 was bad enough. All be it mini-Empire defeated Empire on steroids, and believe me nothing gave this Bills fan more joy then that lowly 1 at the end of The Cheat-triots record. Also a nice little chuckle that followed in which David Tyree seemed to just vanish. Did Coughlin force throw him into the Atlantic from the shore of New Jersey?

Thats right, another thing Giants fans. You may dawn the NY on your helmets but to kind of quote the Governor of this state "Being the only NFL franchise IN NEW YORK the Bills are," stop there enough said Andy.

Patriots fans you know what you did and why I hate you. Not to mention you plucked a great momentary mistreated Buffalo icon and emblazoned him in the colors of our enemy. Which ruined our magical little dream of a majestic little Doug Flutie. You turned him into a tiny little nightmare that day he free kicked a field goal and the huge Emperor Bellecheck. If that would have been Jim Kelly or Steve Tasker Im sure there would have been some sort of Buffalo tea party. Littered with massacred life size cut outs of Tom Brady, and burning ephagees of Bill Bellecheck would be piled so high in Lafeyette Square that the smoke could be seen from the Maid of the Mist.

To end this useless rant I hope neither team wins. I hope the sky parts and the ghost of Al Davis rides his silver and black golf cart down a beam of light yells "YOU SHALL NOT PLAY!" Smashes cane and the field crumbles leaving the fans, media, etc. safe but dropping the two teams into some sort of alternate dimension. One where Bernard Pollard ended Bradys career and Archie was the only Manning we ever had to hear about. No Offense Peyton. Then after casting the two evil empires into whatever fiery hell there awful souls belong in he says "Alright Ralph, give the keys to Jim your coming with me." A guy can dream can't he?

Anyways final prediction minus acts of god Giants 32 Patriots 28.

Also in the betting world we have an over/under of 12 for how many times Barney says "3 Key pieces."

Along with an over/under of 10 minutes for how long Brock lasts if the Patriots start losing big.


Enjoy next to St Pattys Day and Thanksgiving souly for the food and football, the best day of the year Superbowl Sunday.

Go Bills!